I just figured out something about me

I ALWAYS walk in on people before they hookup. Not on purpose. The mood is always ruined. That got me thinking that I am birth control in human form. Who knows what these peoples shenanigans could of led to if I had not intervened. Babies could be popping out everywhere! You're welcome friends.

Tool of the Week

*** I decided to delete the Tool'spictures because I didn't want to be a cyber bully.

"Yea that's Jack Elway's towel on my bed."

"Which Range Rover are you talking about? A lot of kids at my school drive Range Rovers and Hummers"


"I don't have a girlfriend.... I don't even like that girl so come here and kiss me already" (meanwhile his gf is at home and just got her wisdom teeth out)

"It's okay if you're not as good as me, it's hard to beat me because I'm good at so many different things"
 
*A special thanks to Kate for submitting the TOTW

RUDE!

I was watching TV and this thing came on that reminded me of the movie Ghost. I told my mom I really missed Patrick Swayze. Do you know what she said? She said, "You don't know Patrick Swayze Stacey, so you can't miss him." I was offended.  Even though she said something so rude, I will still forgive her because I love her a lot.

If you don't believe me I will be really mad

So I would like to tell you that I am one fourth Mexican. I really like how I am Mexican but a lot of people don't believe me. My great grandparents on my mom's dad's side were from not only from Mexico but also Apache Indians. I may have blonde hair, blue eyes and skin that burns easily in the sun, but I do have a little Latina in me and I can whip up a batch of salsa like you have never tasted. To help you understand, I have included a family tree.

Its kinda hard to see, but the red smiley faces mean Mexixcan (I put this color cause it is in the Mexican flag, and is easier to see than green)

Cool things I have.

I decided to show you some cool things I have. My room is one giant treasure chest.

These are my dinosaur jammies. My friend Heather told me that they had them at Target so I rushed out and bought them. They have feet! I like to sleep in them not only cause they have dinos but also cause they are warm. 

Tool of the Week

*** I decided to delete the Tool'spictures because I didn't want to be a cyber bully.
Quotes:

"You told your friends my history of cage fighting right?"

"It doesn't count as cheating when your girlfriend is in another state"

My day has been filled with more tools than a Home Depot

I like most people. There is one group of people that annoy me and they are the “Tools” or in more extreme cases the “Douche bags.” I have come to find that many people do not know what a Tool/ Douche bag is. Let me explain.


Tool-ology 101

• A “Tool” is a mild form of “Douche bag.”

• The word “D-bag” is commonly used for “Douche bag.”

• While most of these puzzling creatures are easily identifiable, you cannot always tell a Tool from appearance alone.

• Most Tools do not know they are Tools. In fact, many mistake their douche bag-ness for coolness.

Has this gotten you questioning yourself? Are you a Tool? Below is a checklist of tool behavior. This list is for men only. Woman Tools are harder to identify. This may also help you recognize a tool if you see one.

Tool Checklist (Men)

_ You own a pair of white sunglasses.

_ You wear, or wish you wore Ed Hardy clothes.

_Your favorite food is a protein shake.

_ Most pictures of yourself were taken by you, in front of the mirror.

_One or more of these said pictures is of you gently lifting up your shirt to show your “ripped stomach.”

_ You wear giant faux diamond earrings.

_The gym is your natural habitat.

_You use more hairspray than a girl on prom night.

_You speak with a New Jersey accent and are not even from the East Coast.

_ People can often smell your cologne before they even see you.

_You love to drive around in your pimped out car listening to dirty hip-hop songs, and “holler at fine bitches”

_You still pop your collar

If you checked two or more these you need to have a self-evaluation to make sure you are not a Tool. If you have checked more than five then congratulations, you skipped Tool and went right to Douche bag.

I wish he was my friend

1. He is so friendly and caring.
2. That green is a really nice color on him.
3. His voice is very soothing.

Gangs are scary

I like to watch gangland sometimes. There was this really scary gang that was really really really mean. I don't want to watch the show anymore cause now I get scared when I sleep. I think that these gangs need to be nicer. I am thinking of a plan to make people nicer but I'm not sure what yet. I wish that a big group hug would help things. Maybe I will just hug sad people then they won't want to be mean.